Negotiation – consider the “we, not me” mentally.

In between lock-downs and state boarders being locked up somehow Jackson and I managed to legally fly into Queensland, hop over to NSW and back without too much drama in June this year.  We were attending a leadership conference in Byron Bay – worse places to be I know! One of the key note speakers was Allan Parker ( ). Allan has a decorated career jam packed with achievements and is a recipient of an Order of Australia.

When we were lucky enough to hear him present his focus was on using his knowledge and skill around neuroscience (the science of the brain) in a social context when considering the art of negotiation.  This week I have revisited this content through Allan’s book, The Negotiators Tool Kit.

Allan explores what negotiation is, what a successful negotiation involves along with negotiation styles. It interests me the way that Allan notes sometimes it is the packaging of the message, rather than the message itself that is rejected. “Communication is like giving gifts. If it’s packaged and wrapped the way the person likes to receive it, they will be much more willing to take the communication on board”. This delivery of communication can translate into all aspects of life. He also breakdowns the research into listening and human interactions. Did you know that only 7% of our communication is composed of words!? 38% is vocal and tonal qualities and 55% is the non-verbal visual communication. Again, easily translated into not just professional communication but everyday life.

Whilst I imagine most people would consider a negotiation between two parties to be the parties working against each other to find a middle ground Allan notes that communication is best done as partners, not opponents. A “we, not me” mentally”.

If you are interested in learning more about the science of communication, consider getting yourself a copy of this book. It is easy to digest if you have kids at home still you are sure to find a few useful tips on how to negotiate with them!

You will find the The Negotiators Tool Kit By Allan Parker via the link below.

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